avrelia

it will come as no surprise that I was a girl once. And then I had a sister who was also a girl. So I remember what's it's like to be a girl. (I also have a cousin, who is/was a boy, but I don't remember his childhood that well). Anyway, I now have a son, and suddenly – at almost five, it really strikes me how weird it is – to raise a boy.
He's known that there are boys and girls, and that he is a boy for a while now – before he was three. He didn't ask how they are different, but came up with an explanation himself. He decided that girls have long hair, and boy have short hair. It's hilariously untrue, obviously. But (1) he deduced it himself judging by people he saw – as it happens, the overwhelming majority of girls he saw did have long hair, and all the boys had short one. Not to mention me and P. And (2) it is the only difference he could find. ;)

I've been observing kids playing at the gym for the last year, and a bit in his pre-K, and I noticed that a divide appeared between boys and girls where there was none before. They are more likely to play with kids of their own gender and not the opposite one. They all love to scream and run around, and happily run around together, but boys' play is suddenly more physical, more aggressive (all participants are quite happy with that, but we were policing them constantly, trying to teach not to hurt each other) than girls' play. Girls' play requires more talking. There are no walls between them so far. Girls sometimes run with the boys, boys play house or castle with the girls, but they are starting to separate.
Recently, D asked me. “Is there pink for boys?” We have never discussed colors in gender-coded way before. “Yes, why not?” I said.
“Is there girl-toys for boys?” “Like what?” “Like Barbie or Dora” “but you love Dora, do you not?” “yes” “then you should play with it.”

And then there are some strange rituals. We went to the library one day. And there, in the library, there was a girl D. knew. They weren't close friends, but they had a class together and played afterward in the same group. When we came in, the girl was jumping around barefoot, while her mom sat in the chair. As soon as the kids saw each other, the girl sat in another chair and started reading a book, very solemnly and lady-like. D. took off his boots and started circling the chair with girl. Normally he goes to the bookshelves and looks for the books to read. Not now – books were forgotten, he did everything he could to attract the girls' attention, and she resolutely pretended not to notice him.

Yesterday we went to the city pool and met there another girl. This one is his friend, they went to Pre-K together, and D played often with her and her younger brother. At the moment they were having a snack, and D, instead of running to the pool, stayed near. He refused my suggestion to go and say hi, but instead started walking around, nonchalantly, making large circles around the lawn. Then he sat close. And closer. Then he did several somersaults. Then he walked around some more. Then he made some silly faces. Then he jumped on one foot. Then the girl finished her snack, and they went on running around, playing and splashing together for the next hour.
What's up with those kids?
I guess this is what happens when you let them hang out together and pick up things from everywhere.