my results for 2023
Jan. 24th, 2024 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
avreliaAs usual, in December I want to do a proper send off for the year that is ending, with some musing, some results, maybe holiday cookies and crafts, and then I don't.
The holidays started unexpectedly early, yet again, with kids suddenly home for the winter break, and no mood for celebrating anything – yet again. The tree was decorated haphazardly, some cards signed and sent (have anyone gotten them? No idea). Good thing I can still keep celebrating for another week – the great holiday of Old New Year.
Except – celebrating now seems like such a strange idea, belonging to “normal” times. Not the ones we live in.
still, I feel the need to mark the passing of time, and combine the previous twelve months in a single narrative.
It definitely was a year. It passed. I lived.
The main takeaway from the past months was that the time is over. No more time. Sure, one needs to plan for the future, both remote and immediate, but there is no sense in waiting for it to come. Maybe, some time in the future some things will get better, but most likely not, or they will be better in this area, and worse in another one, or they will get better in fifty years and I won’t be able to do much then.
It brought about a wave of sadness upon me, but also prompted me to do little steps in this new understanding. The past several years were strange. I was busy with small kids, then we moved to California and rearranged our life, and as soon as I started making better plans for myself, the pandemic hit, and then the war, and I was stuck immobilized. It was not what I planned, it was not what I wanted from my life. But what I wanted seems so far out of reach – may be it will happen in another universe, in a better timeline.
My age started to weigh more heavily on me. Not that I feel old at my fresh 47, but I do feel that my time is not unlimited any more. The horizon is closer and darker.
Anyway. Here is the list of things accomplished:
- signed for yoga club and went there once a week for most of the year (save for travels)
- traveled to Vancouver – for the first time since I left it twenty years ago – and met with friends
- traveled to Turkey – for the first time ever – and spent time there with my mom and sister.
- started a book club in Russian
- accepted that I will continue to buy books because they spark joy, even if I won’t read them, and my kids won’t read them.
- sold some books I was sure we are not going to read.
- read some books
- made some new plans
- made some new friends
Well. Here I am, looking forward to accomplish more in 2024.
The holidays started unexpectedly early, yet again, with kids suddenly home for the winter break, and no mood for celebrating anything – yet again. The tree was decorated haphazardly, some cards signed and sent (have anyone gotten them? No idea). Good thing I can still keep celebrating for another week – the great holiday of Old New Year.
Except – celebrating now seems like such a strange idea, belonging to “normal” times. Not the ones we live in.
still, I feel the need to mark the passing of time, and combine the previous twelve months in a single narrative.
It definitely was a year. It passed. I lived.
The main takeaway from the past months was that the time is over. No more time. Sure, one needs to plan for the future, both remote and immediate, but there is no sense in waiting for it to come. Maybe, some time in the future some things will get better, but most likely not, or they will be better in this area, and worse in another one, or they will get better in fifty years and I won’t be able to do much then.
It brought about a wave of sadness upon me, but also prompted me to do little steps in this new understanding. The past several years were strange. I was busy with small kids, then we moved to California and rearranged our life, and as soon as I started making better plans for myself, the pandemic hit, and then the war, and I was stuck immobilized. It was not what I planned, it was not what I wanted from my life. But what I wanted seems so far out of reach – may be it will happen in another universe, in a better timeline.
My age started to weigh more heavily on me. Not that I feel old at my fresh 47, but I do feel that my time is not unlimited any more. The horizon is closer and darker.
Anyway. Here is the list of things accomplished:
- signed for yoga club and went there once a week for most of the year (save for travels)
- traveled to Vancouver – for the first time since I left it twenty years ago – and met with friends
- traveled to Turkey – for the first time ever – and spent time there with my mom and sister.
- started a book club in Russian
- accepted that I will continue to buy books because they spark joy, even if I won’t read them, and my kids won’t read them.
- sold some books I was sure we are not going to read.
- read some books
- made some new plans
- made some new friends
Well. Here I am, looking forward to accomplish more in 2024.
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