It's February already! Again! Where did January go?

[avrelia]

I hoped that after I applied for my graduate studies I would feel free and happy. Nope. I feel sad and directionless instead. I blame the fact that I can't change anything anymore (about applications), that my life next year depends now on some other people.

We tried to watch Super Bowl last Sunday - for the commercials. We managed two hours, trying to figure out what is going on on a field and why they call it football. My husband's theory: players have to get the ball somewhere. My theory: it is all about unappropriate touching. Anyway, we got bored after two hours and watched "The Two Towers" instead.

I kept compairing hobbits to Andrew (hair-wise). Which brings me to this: Yeah, I know it’s been almost a week. Anyway, I haven’t read anything this week but couple of reviews, and I wrote my own, and I post it here, and now I will go backwards, may be even commenting.

I loved Andrew. How could I not? “82% more manly” ::snickers:: Even with the hair – apparently he is in his hobbit phase now. With all the LOTR references. But interesting how comfortable he is in his new role. Curious reactions from everyone – especially from Wesley, of course. Andrew is his storyteller mode – he cannot otherwise. And he still marks his snacks. He wasn’t too much surprised to see Spike either, but then he has always had a kind of mythological worldview, where people rarely die for real.

How Andrew’s account of the world-saving mirrors that one of Angel’s – from “Just Reward”. We saved the world, Buffy helped vs. Buffy saved the world, Spike helped. But we know that Andrew is ultra-unreliable narrator. What about Angel? :)

So, Dana the Vampire Slayer. The long-awaited Bad Consequence of the spell in “Chosen”. A victim turned into a monster. I was spoiled for the hand-cutting piece, and was scared anyway. The past, the present, the reality and Slayer dreams are mixing in Dana’s mind. One never knows when she is where. Seeing how Dana relived lives and deaths of previous Slayers, I was expecting her to say something of Buffy’s when she was fighting Angel: “Hello, lover”, for example. Can she be whole again? Who knows. Certainly not at W&H facilities. I had a flash to “Normal Again”, and Buffy in a hospital robe. (and that was Andrew’s dead, by the way, with demon summoning). And Faith, and the First Slayer, and all the Slayers. Did she make a choice? A choice to be strong? I believe she did. I believe that’s how the spell works. But in her mind to be strong means to undo the past, not to let that hurt happen. And undoing the past never works.

Strong and crazy, a victim and a monster, Dana made me think about Dru. What would happen, if Dru has gotten a soul? I wouldn’t want her to, but if – I think she would play a similar scenario. Remember “What’s my line?”, the Angel torture?

Spike is running to find and help, and fails, but he is trying to connect, to talk, to do something. Angel is doing the proper research and succeeds in taking the Slayer out.

Futility of dwelling in the past. Why Spike had to learn it? He knew it already. But it is one thing to know it, to understand, and another – when his past jumps in his face, one way or another. It is not about balancing the scale, he knows it, yet what is it about then? He thought he’d moved on, he is a good guy now, but reminders of his past that cannot be undone still throw him. He admits of never thinking much about consequences. Was there A Valuable Lesson to learn? Not so sure. Not even about possible futility to save someone. Spike is rather casual about it. But he did tried to help. Sometimes it is all that matters. I know there is more to it, I will have to watch the episode again, and think, and probably won’t come around to writing something else. I leave out Angel and Spike interactions for now. I hope I will have something to say later.

Good to know about Sunnydale alum. Why Xander is in Africa? Is he having a long-distance gay romance with Andrew? Why Buffy is in Rome? Not that I have any problem with it. Wait, I know the answer: it’s about shoes. Or may be because Rome is very un-Californian. I don’t know, never been to California. Why Willow is still with Kennedy? Couldn’t she break up with her already?

Loved the Slayers gathering around Andrew and Dana. It was… powerful and strangely touching. Andrew probably just talking big about how nobody trusts Angel anymore, but why exactly Angel was protesting that much, what he was planning to do with a crazy Slayer himself? His perspective is very very skewered right now.

Angel and Andrew. Ponce and Little Ponce. Do we have such a pairing? We should.