chinchillas don't sweat

[avrelia]

I haven't posted anything interesting for some time. Why? No particular reason, beside that I didn't want to write anything intersting - or to write anything and worry whether it is intersting or not.

I am looking for a skirt, and possibly a dress.

Long ago - or not so long, ascian3 made a post about formal dress on some occasion, I commented, and then I started thinking about clothes in more general view: what I am wearing and why.

If you are curious, here are the results of my deep thinking:

1) I am random
2) I wear whatever is there
3) I am expressing my mood by wearing this or that
4) in some ways, I don't care what to wear
5) in other ways, I love to wear pretty things

Somehow it all works together. I am not sure whether I have a style of my own or not, but I definitely have ideas about things I want to wear that always get my in trouble with the world.

it is the mixture of personality and circumstances that got me there - as for everybody else. I cannot blame everything on the environment, but it did play some role.

Clothes shopping didn't have the same flavour when I grew - and where I grew up - I had very nice clothes bought for me when I was a child, but by the time I was a teenager shopping for clothes just didn't have much sense. I think we mostly used taylors and skilled friends with the magazine Burda Moden. I had school uniform - which eliminated the problem of what to wear till the high school, I had some nice clothes, some casual stuff for street, one pair of jeans at the time - I was pretty well off. Some of the clothes were second-hand, some were even my mom&aunt desses (vintage!)

In sum, clothes just appeared in my life, and I had mostly not choose, or find the right clothes, but to decide what I want to wear out of what is available. This situation suited me just fine. I rarely wanted any specific kind of clothes in the eighties - I hated the eightied fashion passionately.
After when I wanted something specific, I either didn't do anything and eventually forget about it, or find a taylor to make it.

THe thing is, i never learned to shop for clothes - I mean, I do it from time to time, but it seems to bring moreanxiety, confusion, and exhostion than satisfaction. I tend to have a semitransparent idea of what i want to have, and I try to find it - too often without anything resembling success. Possibly, those ideas of mine are somehow wrong - i mean is it reasonable to want a velvet bodice and a patchwork skirt made of satin diamond of green, blue and red colors? Where would exactly I wear it? Especially since I wanted to wear it with a threehon hat (which I also don't have)

Some of my ideas of what I'd love to wear just don't work out in reality.

Reality also discourages my fashion sense in the following way:

I am expressing myself through things I wear - and it way too often goes not the way people around me look like. I am not strong enough to not care what other people think and how they look at me. One of the moments that made me unhappy in BC is all those looks I was getting every time I felt pretty and dressed accordingly.

This is not the case in Toronto. I honestly don't know how one should dress here to get a surprised look. But I myself became too wary and weary and boring in my clothing choices.

I still want a threehorn hat.

But I will settle for a nice peasant-style dress or skirt possibly with embroidery, ankle-length.