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avreliaI am alive and well, no worries, my grave is metaphorical so far, and yet, for years, having heard this expression for the first time ever I felt it.
It was this musical video that made it happen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJcG1JXidvU
It is a bit hard to explain. The video has bits and pieces of private lives of various judges in Russia, pulled from their social accounts and their professional ones. Was any privacy laws broken here? Probably.
The judges in question (I didn’t check everyone, but that’s not the point here) were involved in recent political cases in Russian courts, and let’s say it, their judgments were not that just. More like overwhelmingly unjust and cruel, even when technically made according to law. But more often according to political demand.
The song that accompanies the video talks about threads of fate and no guarantees for them when the time comes for another turn of the political wheel. It is set on a melody of a well-known and really old song and has both ear-worming and chilling effect.
AI is heaving used for making the video, but this is exactly the use I find creative.
So why did I feel that way? I’ve been here a long time, and maybe somebody of the old friends remember that I used to be a lawyer. And when I got my law degree, more than 25 years ago, in another century, in another world, I dreamed of being a judge. I wanted to serve my county. I believed in justice and fairness and that the system will work for the people if we have better laws and follow those laws honestly.
I interned at the Moscow city court, and I loved it.
The path from law school to becoming a judge in Russia was a pretty straightforward. I dropped from the shortest path almost immediately for a combination of reasons. I found another job and was quite happy with it, then I found myself living abroad and the dream slowly died. For years I, with some sadness, wondered what if I did fulfilled that dream, what my life would look like. Same as I wondered about my parallel universe life as a historian.
In 2022 all the parallels crossed and all the universes collapsed into one present reality and I was happy that my dreams stayed dreams. Well. Not HAPPY. But I very much not wanted to be a judge in Moscow right now.
And this little video and this catchy song brought afresh the terror – would I be if my dreams came true? Would that young optimistic, justice-minded me become state-minded automaton with rotten soul or a money-driven carefree corrupt sell-out? What case would have become too much?
It was this musical video that made it happen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJcG1JXidvU
It is a bit hard to explain. The video has bits and pieces of private lives of various judges in Russia, pulled from their social accounts and their professional ones. Was any privacy laws broken here? Probably.
The judges in question (I didn’t check everyone, but that’s not the point here) were involved in recent political cases in Russian courts, and let’s say it, their judgments were not that just. More like overwhelmingly unjust and cruel, even when technically made according to law. But more often according to political demand.
The song that accompanies the video talks about threads of fate and no guarantees for them when the time comes for another turn of the political wheel. It is set on a melody of a well-known and really old song and has both ear-worming and chilling effect.
AI is heaving used for making the video, but this is exactly the use I find creative.
So why did I feel that way? I’ve been here a long time, and maybe somebody of the old friends remember that I used to be a lawyer. And when I got my law degree, more than 25 years ago, in another century, in another world, I dreamed of being a judge. I wanted to serve my county. I believed in justice and fairness and that the system will work for the people if we have better laws and follow those laws honestly.
I interned at the Moscow city court, and I loved it.
The path from law school to becoming a judge in Russia was a pretty straightforward. I dropped from the shortest path almost immediately for a combination of reasons. I found another job and was quite happy with it, then I found myself living abroad and the dream slowly died. For years I, with some sadness, wondered what if I did fulfilled that dream, what my life would look like. Same as I wondered about my parallel universe life as a historian.
In 2022 all the parallels crossed and all the universes collapsed into one present reality and I was happy that my dreams stayed dreams. Well. Not HAPPY. But I very much not wanted to be a judge in Moscow right now.
And this little video and this catchy song brought afresh the terror – would I be if my dreams came true? Would that young optimistic, justice-minded me become state-minded automaton with rotten soul or a money-driven carefree corrupt sell-out? What case would have become too much?
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