avrelia | Looking for my life forces... Have you seen them somewhere?

I realized that it is the end of March already. I lived under delusion that it is still the beginning. Fine, I have one delusion less now. The end of March means though that I probably receive an answer from the university about my application. And I am getting nervous. I cannot emphasize enough how much I want to get there. I want at least some clarity in my life, and I really want to study. I contemplate whether I should call the admission office next week or sit and wait.

I have written my

badficathon story yesterday. It is here, and it was quite the experience for me. First of all, it reminded me why I love writing so much, reminded me what a joy can it be, creating a story, flowing of imagination, even it was about the most ridiculous story ever. I had so much fun writing it, trying not to repeat any epithet twice – all without worrying about correct usage, without caring about style and grammar. It was very liberating, honestly. I don’t like bad spelling and grammar in anyone’s writing, let alone mine, intentionally let go of my worries was good. It also proved the importance of proofreading. I haven't done it - in the spirit of badfic, and now I am very tempted to edit the most glaring errors. Surprisingly, I loved writing slash. I decided to go with a slashy pairing, because it allowed for maximum confusion with pronouns, but I actually enjoyed writing it. And I usually see subtext only when it is text, and I am only marginally interested in it anyway. Go figure. The long-winded sentences were my favourite part of the story. Somehow I ended with creation of several stories in the background of the main one. I almost want to explore life of the “frivolous fey”. Another moment that was new to me: the joy of getting feedback. And the trouble of answering comments with something new every time. I was laughing as I was writing it, but wasn't sure it would work for the readers. So I am awfully happy that I made other people laugh and very grateful for their lovely words. I almost want to write more. ;)

For some reason I feel very weak today, as if my life force is leaving me and I can drop dead any minute now. Hence the title. But I won’t drop dead, since I have an evening out planned for tonight, and I don’t want to miss it.