I'm a huge fan of her writing, but there are certain themes and behaviours that keep coming up. When she's writing an AU it's easier to accept but lately I'm really not understanding the story on a basic level - like you I don't think Buffy has that much to atone for, and if she does Spike more than matches her. I think also the comments really set me off - things that get hailed as a meeting of equals seem very obviously to me a case of Buffy being put down and a way to demonstrate Spike's superiority in all things. It's disturbing and I'm very glad you said the things you did in your journal.