I don’t like Herself’s Spike and Herself’s Buffy. They are not bad, but they feel utterly alien and wrong to me. Recently I understood why: they belong to high tragedy; or, since their story ends reasonably well, to classical moral drama. They are deadly serious – in bliss and sorrow, in trouble and everyday life. Humour doesn’t exist in their universe.

I have often said the same thing. I think Herself is a fantastic writer, but her stories don't include the characters I know and cherish from the show.

Of course, this is a big problem for me:
They never change. Spike is always a martyr of love; Buffy is always a broken girl who doesn’t really deserve him.

Because I absolutely could not agree less.