avrelia: (bridge into autumn)
Захотелось вдруг выговориться. Есть у меня виртуальная знакомая - мы знакомы через мамский сайт, где я писала о своей беременности и детенке, она писала о своих троих сыновьях. Потом она от туда ушла, завела себе жж [personal profile] grazdano4ka и успешно пишет на широкую аудиторию. Я ее читаю иногда - она интересно пишет, бодрый слог, талант рассказчика, умение находить найти острые слова и описать образы так чтобы они запомнились. У нее быстро образовался большой круг читателей, она пишет статьи в газеты, и я очень надеюсь что она попробует свои силы и в художественной литературе - уверена, у нее получится.

В чем же дело тогда?

Чтение ее блога и комментариев вгоняет меня в тоску и депрессию. Она пишет о людях - знакомых и знакомых знакомых и их семейных проблемах, жизненных сложностях, пытаясь найти ответы для них и уроки для всех. И вот это-то меня и удручает. Потому что в этих историях всегда выходит, что шаг вправо, шаг влево от Нормы карается расстрелом, порицанием окружающих и общим уроком «не ходите, дети, в Африку гулять». Комментаторы оказываются таким общественным судом, которые все в белом, и все делают правильно, в отличие от героев. Нет, конечно, есть несогласные, есть различные мнения, но общий глас вызывает в памяти старушек на скамейке у подъезда, которые всех проходящих судят. Ладно бы даже и судили. Но кого бы не судили, виноватой - или просто в дураках — оказывается женщина. Причем разбираются ситуации совершенно противоположные, и все равно — надо борщ лучше готовить, надо прощать, надо мужа беречь, детей воспитывать и не рыпаться. Честно говоря, утомляет. Иногда комментирую, но ощущение общего неодобрительно-вежливого болота не вызывает желания спорить всерьез.

Примеры суждений. гражданский брак — зло. Потому что тогда мужик не женится. Дочерям не разрешать.
Муж заставляет жену подписть брачный договор о том, что квартира, купленная в браке, на деньги сэкономленные, пока муж работал, а жена воспитывала детей, будет принадлежать только ему. Не хочет подписывать — немедленный развод. Много комментариев в стиле «надо потерпеть и борщ лучше готовить.» Комментариев - найти юриста немедленно и защитить свои права - три, включая мой.

Если уже за тридцать, а ни семьи, ни карьеры, то жизнь прошла зря.

Почитаешь, и такое удушающее воздействие замечаешь. Посидели, перетерли дураков и дур, порадовались, что вот мы-то нормальные, все как у людей, и дальше пошли.
avrelia: (pic#)
You could always fast forward through all the threatening notices, previews and stuff directly to the start of the thing I actually want to watch.

And now, every time I wish to watch my legally bought DVD, I have to waste lots of time desperately pushing the FF button in hopes to to actually watch stuff.

Especially annoying this is in kids' DVDs. Why do I have suffer more when I am paying my money, eh?
avrelia: (a girl)
http://blogs.forbes.com/kiriblakeley/2011/02/17/sports-illustrated-model-irina-shayk-and-the-allure-of-the-russian-girl/

Some people write really weird stuff.

The author believes that In Moscow, every Irina, Nastya, Tanya and Ekaterina is drop dead beautiful.

"So I went to Moscow, and it was true. Everywhere you looked—flawless skin, high cheekbones, perfect noses, pouty lips. Plus, they can walk over ice floes in stiletto heels and Artic temps don’t impede their desire to sashay around in teensy-tiny tube skirts. When they are 16, sure. Then they get some common sense back and start wearing more convenient stuff.

The author is puzzled over that Russian thing and goes to a known expert in Russian women:

I put the question to a dedicated Russo-chick-phile (one wasn’t hard to find). Tyler Wilson, a 32-year-old banker who lives in New York City, has dated over 20 Russian women, the longest relationship lasting 5 months. He often meets them on Russian dating sites. Russian women, he says, have a “cold and mysterious” beauty to them and an “aura of indescribable class.” yeah, he is the expert, all. right. Excuse me while I throw up.

Russian lassies, she informed him, don’t even buy their own cup of coffee. Yes, some do believe something like it. they were raised to believe it is proper for a man to invite on a date and to pay for dinner, and only evil feminists pay for themselves. But it is a double-edged problem, since many men believe that a paid dinner allows them to demand sex in return. :(

He also says that emotiveness is anathema to the ravishing Ruskies. “Don’t show any emotion, positive or negative, with these women,” he warns. What a bunch of crap.

“For some reason, I keep coming back for more,” he swoons. “Everything from their accents to their fur coats sets these women apart Yes, it is very amazing to have an accent. So very exotic. Normal people don't have one. And fur coats - they are warm, you know. Especially in the absence of high-tech down parkas.

I really feel the need of an icon with Illyria's fist...
avrelia: (B-Hero)
http://blogs.forbes.com/kiriblakeley/2011/02/17/sports-illustrated-model-irina-shayk-and-the-allure-of-the-russian-girl/

Some people write really weird stuff.

The author believes that In Moscow, every Irina, Nastya, Tanya and Ekaterina is drop dead beautiful.

"So I went to Moscow, and it was true. Everywhere you looked—flawless skin, high cheekbones, perfect noses, pouty lips. Plus, they can walk over ice floes in stiletto heels and Artic temps don’t impede their desire to sashay around in teensy-tiny tube skirts. When they are 16, sure. Then they get some common sense back and start wearing more convenient stuff.

The author is puzzled over that Russian thing and goes to a known expert in Russian women:

I put the question to a dedicated Russo-chick-phile (one wasn’t hard to find). Tyler Wilson, a 32-year-old banker who lives in New York City, has dated over 20 Russian women, the longest relationship lasting 5 months. He often meets them on Russian dating sites. Russian women, he says, have a “cold and mysterious” beauty to them and an “aura of indescribable class.” yeah, he is the expert, all. right. Excuse me while I throw up.

Russian lassies, she informed him, don’t even buy their own cup of coffee. Yes, some do believe something like it. they were raised to believe it is proper for a man to invite on a date and to pay for dinner, and only evil feminists pay for themselves. But it is a double-edged problem, since many men believe that a paid dinner allows them to demand sex in return. :(

He also says that emotiveness is anathema to the ravishing Ruskies. “Don’t show any emotion, positive or negative, with these women,” he warns. What a bunch of crap.

“For some reason, I keep coming back for more,” he swoons. “Everything from their accents to their fur coats sets these women apart Yes, it is very amazing to have an accent. So very exotic. Normal people don't have one. And fur coats - they are warm, you know. Especially in the absence of high-tech down parkas.

I really feel the need of an icon with Illyria's fist...
avrelia: (Cabaret)
but there are things that annoy me to no end. Maybe it is a cautionary tale about dangers of random browsing of the Internets: don't stray from the path, there might be idiots...

I went to Alternative history forums (alternativehistory.com, I believe - don't want to dig up a link) following a link to some maps of zombie apocalypse. I have nothing against a good zombie apocalypse, as long as it doesn't really happen of course.

After seeing rather inventive maps I wanted to see what else is there, and of course, posts with words "Russian" in the name do tend attract my attention. So I clicked.

People in that particular post discussed an amusing hypothesis: what if in 2012 all ethnic Russians all die?

Is it weird that I am having serious problems with this idea? I kind of want to wash it off my brain, but maybe I am overly sensitive, and amusing possibility of disappearance of nations and ethnicities is a fun intellectual pastime? Or I shouldn't judge people, because they don't mean it seriously? Or who would miss Russians anyway, they are all evil?

I am a boring stuck up with no sense fun...
avrelia: (The Rock - smacketh)
Lots of people are idiots. Toronto being a rather large city has its fair share of them. Here is the latest specimen I encountered.

I am riding the subway to work and back home. The ride is not long - four stations only, so I don't mind standing. Of course if there are any free seats available, I sit happily, but when people offer me their seats (moved by my giant protruding belly) I thank and usually refuse. I do need to find a good balance and stand firm though, so I prefer to stand at side of seats near the door - there I have some protection against sudden stops and moves. These sides are not very wide and usually they are all taken as well as the seats. Anyway.

yesterday I managed to find an empty side and situated myself comfortably as not to bother people entering and exiting the train, as the guy squeezed between me and the door. A guy about indeterminate age and look - between 40 and sixty, white, thin, slightly shabby. He apologized profusely and said that he was going to stand there if I don't mind. I answered that I mind because I already am standing there and he makes me uncomfortable. He said that he said that it's okay because he is going to stand there anyway, and it's only for couple of stops. I said that the train has plenty of space and he could go and stand anywhere he wants. He smiled humbly yet happily. For the next two stops we were silent. I was not very uncomfortable - there was my massive handbag between us and I had plenty of room, but I started to get VERY pissed (some work stuff didn't led to much happy feelings). So I decided to use my bag as a weapon and make him as uncomfortable as I could. Which has worked because he started mumbling that I am mean and all that. I answered that I have to make myself comfortable and find a good balance not to fall down and he can go stand anywhere he wants. he said he stays there and some other annoying stuff I don't remember. The train stopped and he did leave, thanking me for being so gracious. I told him to fuck himself and I felt much better that. When I walked home though I almost with I didn't make a scandal over that for all the train. But I would feel even more stupid for making a scandal. And he was just a random idiot you meet every day in a city.
avrelia: (Default)
I wanted to share my recent annoyance with you, guys. ;)

It is not exactly recent, but it came back to life after the last discussion in [livejournal.com profile] fer1213' LJ. First of all, I agreed with Fer’s post absolutely, but not with several comments to it. Some commenters expressed an opinion, popular at one part of the fandom – that is, that Buffy didn’t own all bad things she did to Spike, never apologized publicly, never was properly chastised for everything she did. So, she shouldn’t be forgiven and upheld as a proper heroine, and obviously she's not deserving of the Spike’s love.

And this attitude bugs me a lot.

I generalize here – not all these sentiments and not in this exact wording were expressed in the comments to Fer’s post, but all of them exist and I encountered them here and there.

I actually get where some of it comes from the series – Buffy doesn’t say in plain English everything we wanted her to say, but…

1.How did she not own her actions?

She admits that she behaved like a monster - and not to the Holden, but to herself, which is a huge thing. (Holden is a good therapist here – making her do all the work herself)

She admits using Spike several times – to Spike. Very good of her.

2.She doesn’t tell her friends or write about her relationship with Spike in Sunnydale Herald.
Yes. But why would she?
Why would anyone? Where does this taste for the public repentance come from? Dostoevsky? (yes, that’s right, but his characters are not exactly examples of mental health.)

I think Buffy’s relationships with friends were very true to life (mine, anyway), and no matter how much she loves them some things are not for them. She told it to whom it mattered.

3.Buffy can be terse and quippy, but eloquent in expressing her feelings she is not. Especially in the later seasons. She acts instead. And her (tiring eve for me) refrain “He has a soul now!” was the inability to express just how much it means to her. I can talk more on it, but other people said it better already. But I can't imagine a long remorseful monologue from Buffy about how she was mean and cold, and I don't want to. Her actions in s7 says a lot to me.

4.Forgiveness is not given when it is deserved, but when it is needed. (s2 Angelus episode, same time same place, the whole series, basically.)

I am ranting, hence the friendslocking this entry.

I feel better already. But sometimes I just wonder what makes people to have this need to see Buffy being chastised?
avrelia: (Default)
I wasn’t sure whether I should post it, and then I did it – filtered and all, because sometimes I need to see my thoughts written to clear them out of my brain. There were several (or one big) kerfuffles the last summer about constructive critiques vs. hate vs. being nice, and I was thinking about what I love and don’t love and why…

And sometimes my dislikes have nothing constructive in it – I just don’t like the author’s version of the Universe or the characters. And I see no good reason to write the author about it.

Ok, here it is. I strongly dislike [livejournal.com profile] herself_nyc’s Bittersweets series. I read all up to the “Buffy in Italy” story – I don’t remember its name precisely – and then I stopped. I realized two things: 1) I really don’t like it. 2) I don’t have to torture myself then.

Why did I read it so far? Well, it is an amazing story. I have a deep respect for the skills and craft, and I admire the style and plotting – in the abstract way. Besides, every new story is an event in fandom from the first chapter with all the revisions and discussions, and I, being a sheep, wanted to know how it is going. Plus, the sex scenes are good. ;)

Also, I quite liked Herself’s “What she deserves” and “Lovingkindness” Universe.

But I don’t like Spike and Buffy there, and I don’t like what is going on with them. It is not even all the babies… it is all the mental torture, and how they don’t change forever, and other characters are pale shadows without making sense to me. They never change. Spike is always a martyr of love; Buffy is always a broken girl who doesn’t really deserve him.
And even the Victorian story, that everyone loves and which was one of the first fics I read ever, apart from amazing period details doesn’t rub well with me.

I don’t like Herself’s Spike and Herself’s Buffy. They are not bad, but they feel utterly alien and wrong to me. Recently I understood why: they belong to high tragedy; or, since their story ends reasonably well, to classical moral drama. They are deadly serious – in bliss and sorrow, in trouble and everyday life. Humour doesn’t exist in their universe.
Now, my Spike and Buffy make fun of each other – from School hard to Chosen and beyond, more over, they make fun of themselves. They mock and tease and laugh; they could be cruel and gently, and they changed. They are still changing.

So, yeah… not much sense, but I feel better.

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avrelia

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